Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Stress and Transition
I just cut off a guy I was talking to, because of his offensive behavior. The following is an excerpt from my reflections on the topic, which I feel falls into the category of "Physics of Life and Love":
My cousin and I spoke on Sunday about how it's hard to be in a relationship with a man in transition.
This guy got divorced within the last one or two years.
He's been mixed in with some strange drama at work which he was largely responsible for and may most likely have to start looking for a new job soon.
His parents have recently gone through divorce.
So, he's probably struggling with all of these things.
However, that is exactly why I need to back away immediately.
For a few reasons:
1. He will only continue to treat me the way he is treating me, and his behavior may even get worse as he continues to take out his frustration on me. (last night he kept accusing me of being selfish and angry when I expressed no anger and when the things he was asking of me were unreasonable [i.e. clean his kitchen for him])
2. I would be enabling him to behave this way if I do not take a stand against it (and not by arguing my point, because that only validates him more)
3. He will begin to associate me with this situation and even after it's over he may decide to get rid of me, because I remind him of this situation
4. When he's ready to move on from his present situation, he will most likely want something/someone new that no longer reminds him of this situation (and if he doesn't, he is probably not growing and is remaining in his immature state)
He is also moving to a new apartment (with a bunch of girls), which is another way he is in transition again.
In my attempts to rationalize his behavior, I came up with the idea that he is probably in a state where he feels like tempting and testing the people in his life to see if they will stay with him no matter how unreasonable and difficult he becomes to see if they will stay. I came to this conclusion, because part of the drama at work is with him behaving unreasonable and making demands on top of that. Also, some girl recently dumped him for treating her the same way I feel he treated me. I feel like people in transition do this a lot, because they are in a mind state where things come and go easily and they are probably building "transition momentum" where they see the people in their life as part of the fluidity and disposability of their circumstances. This is probably related to the stress of transition which makes the process of release pleasurable.
Either way, I don't want to get caught up in the cyclone of his hectic life right now.
I originally got involved with him, because his presence was safe and comfortable and provided an escape for me.
Being with him has become a constant source of stress and a strain on my sense of self and well-being.
So, for this reason, I had to cut him off.
I've also considered changing the title of this project to "The Physics of Motivation", but that doesn't sound quite as catchy.
EDIT: I just thought of something. He may even be trying to figure out what part of his life is real right now. That could also explain his behavior. So, he pushes against the people, circumstances and objects in his life as though he's playing a game of emotional Jenga trying to see eek out the blocks in his "life tower", displacing them carefully to see which one his tower can stand without.
It's a dangerous game, because there may be a part of him that wants the whole thing to just fall. Maybe he as he pushes against these blocks, he's feeling like "maybe this next one will relieve the stress" not realizing that the stress is coming from within. The emotional stability must come from within (with help from Above) otherwise, you'll just keep pushing and pushing until even the ones that are of critical importance are gone and your whole tower comes crashing down.
My cousin and I spoke on Sunday about how it's hard to be in a relationship with a man in transition.
This guy got divorced within the last one or two years.
He's been mixed in with some strange drama at work which he was largely responsible for and may most likely have to start looking for a new job soon.
His parents have recently gone through divorce.
So, he's probably struggling with all of these things.
However, that is exactly why I need to back away immediately.
For a few reasons:
1. He will only continue to treat me the way he is treating me, and his behavior may even get worse as he continues to take out his frustration on me. (last night he kept accusing me of being selfish and angry when I expressed no anger and when the things he was asking of me were unreasonable [i.e. clean his kitchen for him])
2. I would be enabling him to behave this way if I do not take a stand against it (and not by arguing my point, because that only validates him more)
3. He will begin to associate me with this situation and even after it's over he may decide to get rid of me, because I remind him of this situation
4. When he's ready to move on from his present situation, he will most likely want something/someone new that no longer reminds him of this situation (and if he doesn't, he is probably not growing and is remaining in his immature state)
He is also moving to a new apartment (with a bunch of girls), which is another way he is in transition again.
In my attempts to rationalize his behavior, I came up with the idea that he is probably in a state where he feels like tempting and testing the people in his life to see if they will stay with him no matter how unreasonable and difficult he becomes to see if they will stay. I came to this conclusion, because part of the drama at work is with him behaving unreasonable and making demands on top of that. Also, some girl recently dumped him for treating her the same way I feel he treated me. I feel like people in transition do this a lot, because they are in a mind state where things come and go easily and they are probably building "transition momentum" where they see the people in their life as part of the fluidity and disposability of their circumstances. This is probably related to the stress of transition which makes the process of release pleasurable.
Either way, I don't want to get caught up in the cyclone of his hectic life right now.
I originally got involved with him, because his presence was safe and comfortable and provided an escape for me.
Being with him has become a constant source of stress and a strain on my sense of self and well-being.
So, for this reason, I had to cut him off.
I've also considered changing the title of this project to "The Physics of Motivation", but that doesn't sound quite as catchy.
EDIT: I just thought of something. He may even be trying to figure out what part of his life is real right now. That could also explain his behavior. So, he pushes against the people, circumstances and objects in his life as though he's playing a game of emotional Jenga trying to see eek out the blocks in his "life tower", displacing them carefully to see which one his tower can stand without.
It's a dangerous game, because there may be a part of him that wants the whole thing to just fall. Maybe he as he pushes against these blocks, he's feeling like "maybe this next one will relieve the stress" not realizing that the stress is coming from within. The emotional stability must come from within (with help from Above) otherwise, you'll just keep pushing and pushing until even the ones that are of critical importance are gone and your whole tower comes crashing down.
Monday, March 10, 2014
Emotional Momentum
You teach people how to treat you through emotional momentum.
If you let people treat you a certain way, they will continue to treat you like that and the longer they've treated you like that the harder it will be to get them to stop.
Their "body" in motion remains in motion...
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Displacement
∆x = x₂ - x₁
Idea of the Day: "Nothing can come out of a person except that which is already within him." -Udochi Okeke
∆x is a derivative of x₂ - x₁ based on x₂'s understanding of x₁.
I'm thinking of giving each emotion a numerical value.
If x₂ understands x₁ as anger the displacement will result in an intensity of anger that is dependent on the value of x₂.
The ability to displace depends on the amount of emotional leverage a person, circumstance or object has over you.
When people have preconceived notions about a person, place, thing, concept or circumstance, it takes a certain dynamic to change their mind.
There are ultimately two "emotions" (for lack of a better word): pain and pleasure.
Introduction
Welcome to the Physics of Life and Love Blog...
On this blog we will attempt to tackle some of the toughest issues of psychology and human behavior using physics principles.
There will be four major branches of this blog:
Mechanics and Dynamics
This is the discipline that leads to the understanding of the nature of moving and static bodies in relation to one another. In relation to the Physics of Life and Love, the bodies in question are the motivations and intentions of human beings.
Electricity and Magnetism
Heat and Waves
Relativity and Modern Physics
On this blog we will attempt to tackle some of the toughest issues of psychology and human behavior using physics principles.
There will be four major branches of this blog:
Mechanics and Dynamics
This is the discipline that leads to the understanding of the nature of moving and static bodies in relation to one another. In relation to the Physics of Life and Love, the bodies in question are the motivations and intentions of human beings.
Electricity and Magnetism
Heat and Waves
Relativity and Modern Physics
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